If Life Deals You Lemon, Make A Lemonade

I will not talk about lemons nor lemonade. The main problem is I've taken wrong major and it ruined my life.

I am now taking Metallurgical and Materials Engineering at Universitas Indonesia. It's my final year and I'm in 7th semester, two semesters more to go. I always realize that I have no passion in engineering. I know this major uses knowledge of maths, chemistry, physics and I do really hate them T__T I always try to love every single thing from this major, however I'm still bad in every subject and always get bad score. I never understand them, but it doesn't mean I am apathetic towards them, I always study really hard and do the best for the tests. No one can understand what I feel. If you're my friend, will you consider me as a dumb one? :( I don't know why but in their eyes (my friends), I'm just a stupid little person. I envy their successes in college.....

Sometimes I feel like giving up, extremely tired and sick of it. That's why I'm reluctant to go to classes. I am doing something that is much more difficult than most people in campus. I know it is painful, but I have to hold on to it. I have nothing to regret at all in the past. I am very aware that my GPA now is not good enough meanwhile I only have two semesters left to raise it. As yet, I haven't found my passion both in metallurgical and materials engineering while most of my friends passionately want to be corrosion or metallurgy engineers.

Metals, polymers, ceramics, composites, nano technology, advance materials, corrosion, extractive metallurgy, heat and surface treatment, metal forming, etc......... They are so hard to understand. Though I have read lots of books, but why still I don't have any idea. I'm still stupid.

Sometimes I wonder if now life gives me lemons (bad of luck and misfortune), will I make a glass of fresh lemonade from it? I promise I'will always learn, study and work hard to make the lemonade sweet and delicious.

What should I do with my life after graduation? This is  a big question I still have to answer. Become a materials engineer? I am wondering about my future everyday, if I'm not an engineer, what will I be?