Over the years of my (K-pop) fangirl life..

From teens to adults, everyone can fangirl over someone/something (be it a movie, book, anime, band or artist) and they have probably done it at least once in their lives. Most people started stanning in their teen, and so did I. Like most teenagers, I literally fangirled over everything and K-pop was one of them. Just a little flashback, my first exposure to K-pop happened a long time ago; way back in 2008 when I was 15. K-pop started out as a guilty pleasure for me and I used to be so obsessed with it. You know that amazing overwhelming feeling you get when you discover something great? Basically, I just liked the music. Yeah, K-pop songs were pretty catchy and unique. But I'm not gonna lie, K-pop was indeed full of eye candy and talent that will leave us in awe all day. It had a wide range of concepts, styles, and genre to enjoy. The music videos were aesthetically pleasing and beautiful. Not to mention the jaw-dropping dance moves and the fantastic stage performances. The whole package had brought me joy on so many levels haha.

I religiously followed everything about my fave groups; their latest news and activities. You know, the teenage fangirl stuff (checking out their SNS, watching their shows, buying merchs, and joining forums). Everything about them just grew on me. I even stayed up all night until 5 AM only watching random K-pop videos on YouTube. Every comeback had me jumping in excitement. Needless to say, I was in full fangirl mode.

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My, how time flies. I've been into K-pop for 8 years or so now, and a lot has happened since then. Today, old groups start dying out and it's only a matter of time for them to announce their disbandment. Meanwhile, new idol groups keep popping out are being debuted almost every week. I don't know if it's only me, but I can't really get into rookies for whatever reason. Nothing much draws me in. It just feels weird stanning idols younger than me..it's probably a sign that I'm getting too old for fangirling over them lol. All the overly cute concepts (especially for boy groups) sometimes make me cringe. Not a lot of groups are bringing something refreshing and new. I'm not saying that every group looks like a carbon copy of each other, but they are more or less the same. On the bright side, the new generation of K-pop is rising and it's completely undeniable.

In truth, I gradually lost interest in K-pop and I kind of feel bad for it. As I'm growing up, I realize that my real life is too consuming and I almost got no time to fangirl like before. I no longer follow K-pop as much as I used to. I already stopped checking up on my favorite groups and any news related to them because I barely care for it anymore. Yes, I've officially downgraded myself from fandom trash to a "casual listener". My mom said fangirling was just a phase of life (sort of, maybe); as we grow older, it decreases naturally. Obviously, there also comes a point in our life where we'll lose interest in these certain things. It doesn't mean that the scene is getting boring, though. It just naturally happened. I may be an old fan, that's why I feel this way. I know it doesn't makes sense, but well.. Over the years of my (K-pop) fangirl life, I'm just going to stop right here. 

I don't regret fangirling over K-pop one bit because honestly it made my life more exciting and fulfilling. Fangirling was like some kind of stress relief to me besides reading, drawing and coloring. Thanks to it, I also met some great people (online) who share the same interests as me. I don't care what anyone says, but becoming a fangirl was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Looking back, there were so many priceless moments and unforgettable memories that I'd remember for life. Smiling, screaming, crying, squealing, jumping, dying.. All the feels! I can't even imagine my life without it. One thing, though, I still can't believe I finally stopped fangirling over my bias groups. I still love them, anyway.

At the end of the day, K-pop is just like any other genre of music. I still like jamming listening to my favorite groups.. It is fun, however it just doesn't feel the same anymore. It's really hard to say, but this would probably be my last post related to K-pop. I think I'll get over it at some point in my life. Whenever that will be..