My Sketches: The Unfathomable Mr. Oh

I drew this a while ago and I still think it looks pretty good, right?

It’s from the Die Jungs photobook (still not over the Germany shoot, help!!). He looks so damn fantastic there. Seriously, I can’t even deal with him right now… he’s just asdfghjkl :’)

How can someone be such a cute dork yet so effortlessly adorable at the same time? WHY SEHUN WHY?! Why do you do this to my heart?

Anyway, here is the unfathomable Mr. Oh, especially for you guys! Just fyi, this is probably the best drawing I’ve ever done in my entire life. I’m actually kind of proud of this one.

Details:

Medium: 2H–8B graphite pencils on A4 Canson paper

Time: 7 hours (non-stop!)

Hew, crazy. My hand is basically dead, but it was so worth it. Hope you guys like it as much as I do!

Continue Reading

Just a little update

Aloha!

I know, I’ve been gone forever. I hated the silence, but life got in the way.

July and August were brutal. Just a blur of blood, sweat, and tears I didn’t think I had left. But I made it through. I graduated. I’m not even going to pretend I’m bursting with pride.. I’m mostly just relieved it’s over. Four years of Materials Engineering. Looking back, if I’d known how tough it would be, I probably wouldn’t have signed up. But I finished. That has to count for something.

Can you guess which one I am?

To my family, my friends, and my polymer chemistry lecturers who showed me so much kindness.. thank you. I honestly have no idea what comes next, and that’s a little scary, but maybe it’s okay. We never really know what the future holds anyway.

In August, I finally saw my high school BFFs again. Two years felt like forever. Back then, I was the only girl in a class of seven crazy guys. They treated me like one of them, and I didn’t mind at all. We laughed at things that weren’t even funny and somehow made them funny anyway. Five hours together felt way too short.

Oh I miss them so much already!

I turned 21 on August 16.

It’s strange how fast that number arrived. Having my family around on graduation day was the only gift I really needed. I just wish the path ahead felt a little less steep sometimes.

Oh, and then there was EXO.

They finally came to Jakarta. Lapangan D, only twenty minutes from my house. I completely lost it. They’re somehow even more perfect in real life. I screamed, I cursed, I acted totally alay.. no regrets. It was exactly what I needed.

lmao

It’s been a heavy year. A lot of everything.

But I’m still standing. Alhamdulillah

Continue Reading

Taeyang's Eyes, Nose, Lips

My brain actually stopped functioning for four minutes straight.

I knew Taeyang was a king, but this is something else entirely. I’m not okay. I’m actually not okay.

Let’s be real. The music video aesthetic is everything. K-pop is usually just neon sets and fifty costume changes, but this is different. This MV is so simple, yet so deep. Taeyang shows up with nothing but a piano and a bare chest, and suddenly everything else feels artificial. There’s no fluff here. Just tattoos and fire and Taeyang standing in the dark. It’s 2 AM energy, but the kind where you realize you’re completely alone. Seeing his memories literally turn to ash while he sings about her lips.. I don't know. It’s just a lot.

And when that billboard starts burning. Her face stays so still, so beautiful.. as the fire just eats through it. Watching him cling to a ghost while the whole world burns is just lonely. It’s cynical. I hate how beautiful it looks.

THAT VOICE. His voice sounds like glass breaking. It's thin, then it just explodes. When he sings the chorus, "Your eyes, nose, lips", it sounds like he’s trying to memorize her face before he goes blind. Can you feel that physical weight on your chest? He’s asking for a "beautiful death" from her lips because living without her is worse. When he hits those high notes at the end, he’s grieving the "small fingernails" and the "fragrant breath" of a person who is already a ghost. He’s being so real it hurts. 

The LYRICS are a total call-out. Taeyang isn’t playing the victim, and honestly, thank god for that. Most songs just whine about being hurt, but he’s out here admitting he’s the one who made it messy. He’s the fool who can't erase a person who’s already gone. Begging her to kill him with a smile just so he can finally stop? That is so raw. 

Taeyang said it best himself on Mnet Wide. It’s just a simple piano and his voice. That’s it. It's a song for anyone still stuck in the remains of a bad breakup. When he sings, the air just gets heavy. It feels like a room where you’re finally allowed to be a total mess. 

A song this simple shouldn't feel this suffocating. But I guess everyone agrees, because it's already sitting at the top of the charts. Yup, Eyes, Nose, Lips just achieved a certified all-kill on every major chart. It’s not even surprising. This isn't your typical K-pop idol track. It’s R&B that actually hurts. This is what it actually sounds like when someone you love starts fading into a memory. It’s not pretty.

If you’re still checking your phone for a text that’s never coming, this is going to hurt. But you need to hear it. At the end of the day, it’s just the piano and the fact that some things weren't built to last. They were built to burn. I’m going to be replaying this until my headphones break. If you need me, I’ll be under my covers, crying to this on loop and staring at the ceiling thinking about every person who ever broke my heart (if any huhu). 

Taeyang won. Everyone else can go home now.

Continue Reading

Top 10 Lovable Korean Boy Group Maknaes (Personal Picks)

For those of you who are new to K-pop, maknae (막내) is a Korean word used to describe the youngest member in a group. If two or more members were born in the same year, the maknae is simply the one born last.

A maknae is usually expected to be the cutest one. Adorable, charming, and full of personality. But let’s be honest, they’re not just cute. Most maknaes are incredibly talented. They can be childish, playful, and sometimes.. a little evil 😏 Still, they always have that innocent side that makes them impossible to dislike.

Honestly, I believe the real job of a maknae is to make noonas fall for them ㅋㅋㅋ And it’s kind of true, when a group has a popular maknae, the whole group shines even more. No wonder so many people end up biasing the maknae. They have a special talent for ruining bias lists, including mine. If you’ve ever had your bias list completely ruined by a maknae, welcome. You’re not alone.

Here are 10 maknaes from 10 Korean boy groups (in no particular order). This list is purely my personal opinion, so please don’t take it too seriously. If your favorite isn’t here.. well, you can always make your own list 😉 Trust me, choosing only ten was hard.

1. Sehun - EXO (1994)

We don’t really need a reason to love Sehun. He’s known for his poker face, but when he smiles.. the sun shines ☺ Naturally handsome with perfect facial features, Sehun may look cold and shy, but he’s actually a cute maknae with plenty of aegyo.

Let’s be honest, he might not be the best rapper or vocalist in EXO. Even though he’s a pretty good dancer, I think his true specialty is attracting noonas. Effortlessly sexy, broad shoulders, and visuals that work with any hairstyle, especially the rainbow hair. Yehet!

2. Taemin - SHINee (1993)

SHINee’s adorable dancing-machine maknae. Taemin was the one who got me into K-pop in the first place, thanks to his outstanding dancing skills. It’s no surprise he’s often mentioned as one of the best dancers in K-pop.

He’s always smiling, no matter what. Watching Taemin grow from a young boy into a more mature and masculine performer has been amazing. His singing and dancing just keep improving with every comeback.

Sometimes I still miss the mushroom hair, angelic smile, innocent face, and that blinking habit when he gets nervous 😭

Even so, he’s still the sweet Taeminnie we all love :’)

3. Jungkook - BTS (1997)

BTS’s Golden Maknae, Jungkook. Young, talented, and good at everything. Besides being the maknae, he’s also a vocalist, main dancer, visual. And yes, he can rap too. A complete package.

Have you ever seen sleeping Jungkook? Absolutely adorable, like a baby. But when he talks, he’s surprisingly mature for his age. And once you watch Bangtan Bomb.. yeah, it’s over. A true bias-list wrecker.

4. Kyuhyun - Super Junior (1988)

The legendary Evil Maknae. Whenever I hear that phrase, Kyuhyun instantly comes to mind, especially with those puppy eyes!

Known as the “Prince of Ballad” and one of Super Junior’s main vocalists, Kyuhyun has a gentle yet powerful voice that makes every song sound beautiful. One of the best vocalists in K-pop, in my opinion. He’s great on variety shows too! Dancing isn’t his strongest point, but he’s become much more confident over time.

Despite his evil reputation and habit of teasing his hyungs, he actually respects them a lot ☺ And yes, he still looks cute.

5. Chansung - 2PM (1990)

The mature “Old Italian” maknae of 2PM. Seriously, who would believe he’s the maknae? He looks older than everyone else.

Chansung loves bananas.. so much that the members nicknamed him “Chanana.” He actually debuted as an actor before joining 2PM. Tall, well-built, handsome, with a great smile and six-pack abs. Yup, the definition of an ideal namja! His cat is almost as famous as he is.

Serious, hardworking, and unexpectedly adorable when he laughs.

(●´艸｀)ヾ Oppa~~~

6. Seungri - Big Bang (1990)

Big Bang’s Baby Panda. At first glance, Seungri doesn’t look like the maknae, he looks more mature than the others. But once you get to know him, his playful and funny side really stands out.

He’s often teased by his hyungs, but he enjoys it and clearly loves them. Known mainly for his dancing, he also has a surprisingly nice voice. He once said he didn’t want to stay as Big Bang’s cute maknae.. but sorry, Seungri. You’ll always be our manly maknae.

7. Sungjae - BtoB (1995)

Sungjae is a funny and dorky maknae. If you’re a Melody, you probably remember the legendary watermelon-breaking incident, hence the nickname Master of Hitting Watermelon.

Extremely talented, a little crazy, but also well-mannered. That combination makes him even more lovable ☺ He’s still my personal favorite among all the maknaes.

8. Changmin - TVXQ (1988)

The most charismatic maknae? Of course, Lord Voldemin.

Changmin debuted with DBSK at just 14 years old. Ten years later, he’s grown into a tall, handsome, and powerful vocalist. TVXQ wouldn’t be TVXQ without his high notes and screams. Over the years, he’s become more mature and charismatic, and as a duo with Yunho, their performances are always solid.

9. Zelo - B.A.P (1996)

A ’96-liner and the Giant Baby. Zelo is known for his rapid-fire rapping skills at such a young age, 16 syllables per second!

Despite being the maknae, he’s the tallest member of B.A.P. His ramen hair era was probably his cutest look ever. Pinchable cheeks, playful expressions, and endless baby energy. Cherry tomato.. naekkeoya! 😆

10. Mir - Mblaq (1991)

Maknae rapper. Loud? Hyper? Absolutely. Mir is childish, energetic, and endlessly funny.

As the group’s mood maker, he knows exactly how to entertain people. Always joking, teasing his hyungs, and causing chaos. People often say Thunder is the maknae.. but honestly, Mir’s behavior says it all. He’s the real wild maknae.

K-pop dictionary:

• Bias: The member who completely owns your heart
• Aegyo (애교): Acting cute (sometimes dangerously so)
• Hyung (형): Older brother (male → male).
• Oppa (오빠): Older brother (female → male)
• Naekkeoya (내꺼야): “It’s mine”
• Namja (남자): Man / guy
• Noona (누나): Older sister (male → female). Since I’m older than Sehun, Zelo, Jungkook, and Sungjae… they should call me Noona. Just saying 😌

Maknae really have a special power. They sneak into your heart quietly, mess up your bias list without warning, and somehow stay there. Whether they’re charming, evil, awkward, or way too mature for their age, one thing is certain: life as a K-pop fan is never safe when a maknae exists.

So here’s my list. Loud, biased, and completely unapologetic. Because in the end, loving maknae is part of the fun!

Continue Reading

Beauty Thursday: Etude House Every Month Cleansing Foam #5 Fresh & Clean Green Tea

Etude House just dropped their "Every Month" line. Twelve different tubes, twelve different formulas. I picked #5 Green Tea, meant for “troubled skin.” Lately, everyone’s raving about green tea, so of course I had to try it.

It comes in a standard 100ml tube. Simple flip cap, mess-free, and travel-friendly. The cream itself is thick and white, and you only need a tiny bit to get a massive lather. But the smell? It’s a lot. A very sharp, citrusy green tea scent that hits you right in the face. You definitely can’t ignore it. 

It really lives up to the "Fresh & Clean" name, though. My skin feels super clean after, or maybe a little too clean. It strips every bit of oil off my face, leaving it feeling tight and a bit parched. A moisturizer right after is non-negotiable.

​I’ve been using it for a month now. The good news? It kills pimples fast. My blackheads and whiteheads are definitely behaving better. But the bad news? The more I use it, the less I love it. As a daily cleanser, it’s just too harsh. My skin started flaking, and weirdly enough, my face gets oilier even faster during the day. It’s like my skin is panicking from the dryness. Also, don't expect this to melt off your makeup. It won't budge waterproof stuff. I double cleanse anyway, so it’s fine, but just a heads-up.

If you’re dry-skinned, stay away. But if you’re oily or struggling with breakouts, this might be your cheap miracle. I got mine for 3,500 Won (about 37,000 Rupiah) from TesterKorea. Seriously, for that price, why not?

I’m probably moving on to #6 Tea Tree after this tube is done.

​Note: Stick to official stores. If the price online looks too good to be true, it’s probably a fake. Don’t gamble with your face.

Continue Reading

Flappy Bird, Ironpants, and Why I Hate Everything Right Now

I think I’m losing my mind. My thumb is actually throbbing, and for what? A pixelated bird that doesn’t even know how to fly straight.

I just stared at my screen for a minute in dead silence because I DON’T EVEN TOUCH THE PIPE DUDE. I’m dying, and then the game is over. Just like that. The game is broken. My life is a lie. Damn it. It’s the kind of frustration that makes you want to throw your phone across the room, but you don’t because you know you’ll just pick it up and press “Start” again.

But then, I found something worse. Something more sinister.

IRONPANTS.

Someone told me it was the “next big thing.” Someone lied. You’ll realize that Flappy Bird is nothing compared to this game. If you thought Flappy Bird was hard and frustrating, go play Ironpants. It’s not even a challenge. It’s just chaos. The controls are so twitchy it feels like the game wants me to lose.

Anyway, I uninstalled it after playing it for two minutes for the very first time. It’s officially the shittest game ever, haha. I can’t deal with this kind of stress right now. I’m going back to listening to Lorde and pretending the world isn’t ending. At least Pure Heroine understands me better than a guy in iron pants ever will.

Continue Reading

Geng Sanput

Friends, laughter, and late-night stories at our cozy boarding house.

"I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam." – Tolkien

안녕~~~

The only things truly precious to me are people: parents, family, and friends. Well, it's three o’clock in the morning and I can’t sleep, so I decided to write this post to introduce you to my best friends in college.

Fast forward to today, they’ve been my besties for about 3.5 years. At first, we girls weren’t that close, but living in the same boarding house made us grow closer day by day. Our cozy homebase? Sanput, short for "Sandi Putri", a small boarding house in Kutek, Depok, with a few simple rooms and a pleasant atmosphere. Perfect for chatting, studying, or just hanging out.

We didn’t have an official group name, but people started calling us Geng Sanput, and I kinda love it. Here’s a picture of us together:

Cheers! Three fingers wide smile (^_^)/

Meet the Geng Sanput members!

1. Ikah (me!)

Hehe, sorry for the awkward pose. Everyone says I have the most jutek face – always looking angry, unfriendly, and snooty. Resting bitch face, maybe? But honestly, I’m cute, funny, and friendly.. promise! Born with big eyes and a natural resting expression, but I swear I’m approachable.

2. Dewi Lestari Natalia (Dee)

Dee is the Queen of Alay – always overacting, selfie master, and duck-face expert. Her laugh is super lebay but totally hilarious. Loves purple and Adam Levine more than anything in this world, period. She can pull a funny pose in literally every photo.

3. Hestia Hartini (Hes)

Our food supplier lol. Hestia often brought chocolate, cakes, and even durian pancakes. She has a lovely, melodious voice – definitely our best singer. Ask her to sing a song, you'll be amazed! She’s already engaged and will be the first in our group to get married this year. I’m really happy for her!

4. Qurratul Ain (Ain)

My ex-roommate and a super good friend. She’s a little childish for her age, has a kid-like figure, and sometimes gets bullied easily. We had little quarrels over unimportant things, but mostly we joked around and laughed.

5. Setiyaningrum (Ningrum)

Hestia’s roommate. Loves singing, Korean movies, and IU. She’s captious, yes, but a really good Muslimah. Her door is always open for me even now! Ningrum is one of those friends who’s strict but also genuinely kind.

6. Maylani Tiarna (May)

Kindhearted and supportive. Maylani always helped me understand difficult things in class patiently. She often stayed overnight at our rooms even though her house was nearby. We share the same terrible habit of oversleeping (hence the dark circles under our eyes!).

7. Yoza Kurniawan (Ajoy)

My best internship partner! He didn’t live in Sanput because it’s for girls only, but his boarding house was right opposite ours – kind of funny, right? He always encouraged me and became one of my greatest motivators. Super smart, helpful, and unofficially our teacher.

Dee, Ain, Maylani, and Yoza were about to graduate in less than a week. I felt so happy for them, I couldn’t even explain it! Me? Still struggling haha.

I’m so lucky to have all of them. No words can ever express how much I love them. We shared laughter, studies, dreams, joys, and sorrows. Even distance cannot separate best friends.

I wish all of them the best in life: success, happiness, and good luck at every turn. This post is dedicated to them. I love you guys! ❤️

Here are some alay poses, specially led by Dee. Enjoy!

HAHAHAHA I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!
Thanks Google+ for making it funny.

Continue Reading

Life of Pi (2012): Two Ways to Remember the Same Story

This post contains spoilers for both the novel and the film.

I first met Pi Patel when I was fifteen, rotting away in my high school bedroom. Back then, his story was just an adventure. A boy, a boat, a Bengal tiger. I treated his struggle like a set of chores. Outsmart the hyena, don't get eaten, find the island. When the ending gave me those two versions, I went with the animals because it was "prettier." I shut the book feeling pretty smug, thinking I’d just solved a clever puzzle. 

Watching Ang Lee’s film now, at twenty, it feels like a different kind of wreckage. This was never an adventure. Survival isn't the point anymore. Now I see the exhaustion of actually having to live with yourself once the struggle is over. The movie made me look past the "what" and into the "why." I'm thinking about the small, messy ways the ocean left its mark on the guy who actually made it back.

My take on Richard Parker completely flipped. At fifteen, he was just a predator to be avoided. Now, seeing that metaphor hits me so hard I can barely handle it. He wasn’t some beast sharing the boat; he was the savage version of Pi that had to come out so he wouldn't die. Every snarl was just Pi’s own terror reflected back at him. That’s why the ending is so gutting now. When that tiger walks into the jungle without looking back, Pi isn't losing a pet. He’s watching the wildest part of his own soul walk away. It's the part that saved him, but he knows he can’t bring that version of himself back to a normal life. You see it in his eyes on that beach. He’s going to miss that monster forever.

The movie turned the ending from a brain teaser to something much uglier. Reading the book, those two versions felt like a game of pick-your-favorite. But seeing adult Pi look that drained while recounting the brutal version ruined that for me. You realize the tiger story isn't just a smart writing trick. It’s the lie he needs so he doesn't collapse under what he actually did. The truth doesn't even matter at this point. What matters is that he needs the tiger story just to keep going without losing his mind.
Ang Lee made every frame look like a surreal painting, which actually messed with my head a bit. The glowing ocean, that perfectly still water.. it’s all so beautiful that it almost hides the horror of what's happening. The book didn't have that filter. It was desperate and chaotic, forcing you to look at the turtle blood and the filth. The movie feels like this hazy, spiritual dream, but the book just feels like an open wound. It’s the same plot, I know. But the book and the movie just don't belong in the same room.

I don't think asking which one is better even matters. The book was this private adventure I had as a teenager. The movie, though, felt like being forced to sit with someone else’s trauma. It’s exhausting. I don’t care about which version is superior. They’re just two different ways of looking at a tragedy that doesn't make sense anyway.

I'm not done with Pi yet. I’m just curious which version of the story I’ll actually believe when I’m thirty, and how much it’s going to hurt then.

Richard Parker was never meant to love him back. He was meant to leave, and by leaving, teach Pi how to live.

Continue Reading