Just Breathe

The music starts. The room goes quiet. I’ve been holding my breath so long I don’t even remember how to let it out.

On the outside, I’m fine. I show up. I smile. I do the stuff people expect. Easier that way. But inside.. it’s heavy. Silent. Tiring. No one sees it. I don’t really want them to.

Then Lee Hi sings. Words Jonghyun wrote. Suddenly it’s like someone switched on a light in a room I didn’t even know was dark.

There’s a kind of tired that comes from pretending you’re okay. You spend all your energy acting normal. Drains you. Jonghyun gets that. He talks about the “heavy breath.” To most people, a sigh is just a sound. To me, it’s barely hanging on.

He doesn’t ask why I’m sad. He doesn’t say “it gets better.” He just.. notices. Even breathing is hard sometimes. And yeah. It really is.

The chorus hits: “I can’t understand the depth of your sigh, but it’s okay. I’ll hold you.” Honest. Simple. He doesn’t know my pain. He just knows it’s heavy. And that’s rare. Someone there, not fixing, just staying.

By the end, I let the air go. 

Jeongmal sugohaessoyo. You did well.

Not for what I did today. For being here. Still breathing. Still holding on, even if nobody knows.

I’ll sit. And breathe.