On Being the Punchline

Image: Studio4art on Freepik

I never really understood bullying until it happened to me. If my posts here often feel heavy or bleak, thisis why. Now that I’ve graduated and left those halls behind, it finally feels safe to speak my truth.

My first year at university was peaceful. No drama, no enemies. I just existed. But everything changed in my second year. I had to retake classes and found myself a sophomore among freshmen who saw my struggle as a joke. To them, I was just the "stupid senior" who couldn't keep up. That was the beginning of it.

Then, they started on my name. A name my parents gave me with love, borrowed from a sacred place, reduced to a joke for their entertainment. Every time I stepped into the classroom, the juniors laughed.

The real betrayal followed me home, onto my screen. My so-called friend joined those juniors in mocking me on social media, turning my struggles into amusement. Did it ever cross their minds that while they laughed, I was fighting every single day just to survive? What feels like a simple walk to them was a mountain I was already bleeding on. I had to climb it alone. And no one noticed, just because survival doesn’t always look like collapse.

One or two friends truly stood by me. The rest chose distance. They called it a “small issue” and urged me to make peace. Not out of malice, but because comfort was easier than confrontation. I learned to pull away. I chose quiet over being misunderstood. Perhaps, they began to see me through the same lens as the ones who bullied me. As if I were already a failure. I wasn’t pushed away; I simply learned that I no longer belonged.

Maybe it seemed trivial to them. Just jokes. But for me, the impact was seismic. I spent years dissecting myself: Am I really this stupid? Is my identity truly that comical? I fell into a depression, haunted by their laughter while they paraded their "achievements" and hollow accolades. Bitterly ironic that a prestigious university didn’t guarantee even basic human decency.

The mockery was one thing. The stolen time was another. While I was struggling to stay afloat, they were building their futures. I was left behind, picking up the pieces of myself from a war I never asked for.

I’ve made peace with them now, acting as if nothing happened. It seems the performance of normalcy is enough for them. I have forgiven them, truly. But I’ll leave the rest to the One who knows everything. Some debts are just not for me to clear.

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DIY K-pop Bookmark

Earlier this year, I made my own K-pop bookmarks from pictures I found in past issues of teen magazines. There are lots of them, but the one below is my favorite. I am currently using Luhan as my bookmark for my current read. Anyway, it only took minutes to make and it looks sooo adorable. All we need are just a cute picture from unused magazines and some white cartons, not to mention scissors, tape and glue. When the bookmark was finished, it should have been laminated to ensure it would be sturdy enough to last for long years and not damage the papers inside. Sadly I forgot to laminate it and so in less than a year, mine is getting a little bit crumpled and the colors start running, too. However, I am so in love with it and I'd make another if I had to.

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Fangirl Friday: Sato Takeru

I grew up with Sunday morning Tokusatsu. That’s where it all began.

He was Nogami Ryotaro in Kamen Rider Den-O, a weak kid with terrible luck. Most actors stick to one role, but Takeru played seven. He shifted his voice, posture, and even his eyes depending on which Imagin was in charge. Even back then, I knew he was different.

I’m not usually into Japanese actors. He’s always been the only exception.

When they cast him as Himura Kenshin, I held my breath. Rurouni Kenshin is my favorite manga of all time.. I wasn’t ready for disappointment. But Takeru? He didn’t just play Kenshin; he became him.

He did his own stunts. No wires. No doubles. Just him, running sideways on a wall with perfect precision. There’s one moment before a fight when he lowers his chin and looks up through his bangs. The weight in his eyes is exactly how I imagined Kenshin for years.

There’s a strange balance in him. Beautiful and delicate, yet heavy and intense. Mysterious. And he loves cats. Somehow, knowing that makes all his intensity feel warmer, more human. His upcoming movie, If Cats Disappeared from the World, is bound to break hearts.. and mine is definitely not ready.

I’ve been crushing on him for years. Some things never change, and I wouldn’t want them to.

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Monday, 20 July 2015

“What I want is for the two of us to meet somewhere by chance one day, like, passing on the street, or getting on the same bus.”

― Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

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Flipped (2010): More Than the Sum of Its Parts

Rob Reiner’s Flipped (2010), originally a 2001 novel by Wendelin Van Draanen, tells the story of Juli and Bryce, two kids whose perceptions of each other are messy and often wrong. I still remember the upside-down chick on the book cover from middle school. Watching the film now, it’s way more interesting than most coming-of-age stories, turning simple misunderstandings into funny and heartfelt scenes.

The novel has long been one of my favorites, which made me curious to see how it would translate to the screen. Moving the setting from the book’s 90s to the 50s was a smart choice by Reiner. That mid-century nostalgia gives the film a specific atmosphere that fits the tone perfectly. Madeline Carroll and Callan McAuliffe have great chemistry as Juli and Bryce. The dual POV really shows how two kids on the same street can see completely different worlds. The story itself is not like a typical teen romance; it focuses more on character than drama.

The main conflict isn’t huge plot twist. It’s about Juli and Bryce slowly changing from the inside. Juli starts with this sincere admiration for Bryce, while Bryce is mostly driven by a need to fit in and stay comfortable. The contrast is clear. Juli is full of life and always curious, like the sycamore tree she loves. Bryce, on the other hand, is stuck and too scared to take risks. The film centers this contrast as the core of their conflict.

The family stuff in the film stands out more than in the book. Bryce’s father is extremely arrogant. He spends most of the film looking down on Juli’s family because of their messy yard, and you can tell how bitter he is about his own life. It makes the story feel bigger and shows why Bryce acts the way he does.

One standout scene is when Juli’s dad is painting and talks about how things are “more than the sum of its parts.” A cow or a meadow alone might just be objects, but the way the light hits them together is what makes them special. In this moment, Juli starts noticing there’s more to people than what’s on the surface, while Bryce is still mostly seeing just the outside.

Then there’s Chet Duncan, Bryce’s grandfather. He’s the one who makes the most sense in the house. He tells Bryce that some people are flat, some are satin, and some are glossy. Every now and then, someone is “iridescent.” This scene shows Bryce starting to see people differently, and also highlights the quiet bond between Chet and Juli. He notices Juli’s depth while Bryce is still figuring himself out.

Flipped doesn’t need the usual teen movie stuff to work. It doesn’t rely on sex or fake romance. It’s just two kids planting a sycamore tree in a yard. Both the book and the film earn 9 out of 10. They don’t rush the process; they let the characters grow naturally. The film keeps the heart of the book alive and shows that growing up can feel meaningful with the right people around.

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