The Coffee Ghost

2019 and everyone is holding a plastic cup. Brown sugar boba, Thai tea, or those iced coffee cups with the messy palm sugar at the bottom. The matcha lattes I adore? Not for me anymore.

I’m just here with my mineral water. Again.

It’s been a couple of years since I stopped. No more cappuccinos or lattes. Basically, anything with coffee, tea, or milk is off-limits now. I miss the ritual more than the caffeine, I think. But I remember 2017 too well. The panic, the ER, the realization that it was GERD all along.. and that my chest was on fire. I'm not ready to die for a drink just yet.

So I sit in these "aesthetic" cafes and I just watch. I smell the beans from across the room, it hits me how much I miss it.. and I keep my distance. It’s a bit lonely, being the only one not actually drinking the menu. I’m just the person in the corner, nursing a bottle of water and a plain croissant. Maybe a piece of dry toast if I'm lucky.

Maybe later. Maybe when I’m finally, fully okay, I’ll take one sip. Just one tiny, stupid sip to remember what it feels like to be normal.

But for now, I’m just staying safe. That’s all.