I think I’m losing my mind. My thumb is actually throbbing, and for what? A pixelated bird that doesn’t even know how to fly straight.
I just stared at my screen for a minute in dead silence because I DON’T EVEN TOUCH THE PIPE DUDE. I’m dying, and then the game is over. Just like that. The game is broken. My life is a lie. Damn it. It’s the kind of frustration that makes you want to throw your phone across the room, but you don’t because you know you’ll just pick it up and press “Start” again.
But then, I found something worse. Something more sinister.
IRONPANTS.
Someone told me it was the “next big thing.” Someone lied. You’ll realize that Flappy Bird is nothing compared to this game. If you thought Flappy Bird was hard and frustrating, go play Ironpants. It’s not even a challenge. It’s just chaos. The controls are so twitchy it feels like the game wants me to lose.
Anyway, I uninstalled it after playing it for two minutes for the very first time. It’s officially the shittest game ever, haha. I can’t deal with this kind of stress right now. I’m going back to listening to Lorde and pretending the world isn’t ending. At least Pure Heroine understands me better than a guy in iron pants ever will.
